Farting in the elevator doesn't count.

Whatever happened to taking responsibility for your own actions? Did it ever exist? Seems to me there's been a lot of "the dog ate my homework" and "he told me to do it" going on lately. You've got BP, who initially blamed their contractors for the explosion that's causing the devastation in the Gulf of Mexico, Jesse James (not the outlaw... well, then again...), "the most hated man in America," blaming childhood for his overactive labido, television critics blaming reality TV for the decline of network television (no no no... I blame- and praise- FOX for that...). There's plenty of blame going around, and nearly zero responsibility being taken. Why is that? Well, I happen to have a few ideas (like you didn't already know that)...

There's an old saying: "shit rolls downhill." Really? I, personally, have never witnessed this, have you? In my experience, shit's sticky. It doesn't roll. If I were standing at the top of a fucking GLASS RAMP and took a shit, it might SLIDE down, but roll? Absolutely not. Even if it did, I still have it all over my ass, that's why we make toilet paper, to get rid of the incriminating evidence (that, and because shit tends to get itchy when it dries on your bum). Even then, the smell remains. So we make air freshener to mask the smell. This is the perfect analogy for the BP fiasco.

British Petroleum took a big shit in the Gulf of Mexico, while drilling for oil. Now, BP says it was the contractor's fault, but it's STILL BP's asshole; they lease Deepwater Horizon and contracted it's workers, after all. The smell got out, and someone noticed. They yelled "Smells like someone took a big dump!" and soon the smell wafted to the CNN and FOX newsrooms, and national and local newspapers. Before BP could wipe it's ass with fluffy, quilted toilet paper in the form of press releases, the shit hit shore. Animal and plant life were covered in it. People started to complain. So, to fix the problem, BP developed it's own air freshener in the form of a metal tower, four-stories high, that was supposed to contain the leak and "fix" the problem. Their "air freshener" turned out to be the equivalent of waving a bar of soap back and forth through the air to get rid of the smell. The tower fell. And with no plunger and the toilet still running, it's like a septic tank out of control. Sea life from this disaster will be affected for years to come, which means the price of fish sticks, that staple of dietary nutrition in 99% of in-home daycare, will go through the roof. The tourist industry along the Gulf is already being affected, leaving desk clerks, waiters and waitresses, and fishing boat captains without the money they count on to make it through the slower winter months. And most importantly, the delicate ecosystem of our oceans, which we've already begun to destroy with trash dumping, pollution from huge seafaring vessels, and battles of wars past, is taking a hit that will affect future generations in ways we can't even imagine.

So, who's at fault? Ultimately, where do we place the blame for this shitstorm that all of us are complaining about? I'll tell you.

It's my fault. And it's your fault. We patronize BP and every other company, corporation, and even goverment that we have the balls to complain about. We allow them and even EMPOWER them to act in such a way as to take control over our lives, and then bitch and complain when they fuck up. And they ALWAYS fuck up. This isn't the first disaster we've seen, and I'm not even talking about in the oil industry. Enron, Fannie Mae, Lehman Brothers, and Rush Limbaugh (Elton, Elton, Elton... what the FUCK were you thinking?!), were all supported by us. I can hear some of you now: "I didn't support (insert company and/or asshole name here)!" Doesn't matter. As a member of our society, you're to blame. As am I. That's why we must do everything we can to make sure this doesn't happen again. We must learn from our mistakes. Teach through boycott. I can't believe I can still pass a BP gas station and find people lined up out front to get gas and cigarettes. PLEASE people! Wake the fuck up! This is what I'm talking about! Making a kid stand in the corner for burning a hole in your rug isn't going to teach him not to play with matches. You have to swat him on the ass, tell him fire can be dangerous, take away all of his toys and confine him to his room to make him understand his actions have consequences! That way he'll learn to take responsibility. Accept blame. This is a kid who's going to grow up knowing that if he fuck's up, he's going to pay a price. The kid who's made to stand in the corner will grow up to be a whiny little bitch, like Glenn Beck.

The bottom line is shit does NOT roll downhill. And only the unevolved fling it at others.