Complaining for fun and profit!

I've always wanted an alaskan malamute. If you don't know, it's a breed of dog that looks similar to a husky, but with more fur and generally brown eyes. My aunt had one when I was growing up named Duke, and they're the most beautiful, gentle, and loving dogs I've ever encountered. And they're BIG. In my way of thinking, if you have to bend over to pet a dog, it's too small. I was looking on Craig's List the other day (not really thinking I'd find one... and I didn't), when I came across an ad in the "free" stuff section. You're going to love this, and if you don't, I don't give a fuck. You're probably the one who wrote it...

I should have copy/pasted the ad, but in my druggedness (fuck if I know if that's a word, but you're sure as hell not going to find it in Webster's!), I forgot. (No, I don't take illegal drugs, I have a 'script for vicodin; and if you do not, I highly recommend getting one.) But I digress... The ad went something like this:

(Completely paraphrased) I'm getting sick and tired of people posting free animals in the "free" section! They belong in the "pets" and "community" sections, not here! I'm sick of browsing and finding a bunch of free puppies and free kittens ads! You don't see animal shelters running ads on here! (Note from Mick: actually, once in a while you do. And in the furniture section a lot of furniture outlets run ads as well. Cheap advertising, I guess.) You don't see adoption agencies posting for "free childern!" (Note from Mick: uhh... isn't that illegal?) If I see any more ads for free pets in this section, I'm going to flag them and have them removed! (Note from Mick: yeah, I don't think that'll happen, but have at it, loser.) Keep the "free" section free of animals! (Note from- fuck, you know: this seemed to be his attempt at wit. He might be half right.)

Huh... really? The ad got some responses, similar to the one I'm going to post here, which consisted of a lot of "What harm is there in it" and "You reach more people this way, so more chance of giving an animal a nice home" and the like. I'm going to concentrate on it a bit differently: GET A FUCKING LIFE, ASSHOLE! These people are right, there's no harm in what they're doing, and it does allow more people to view the ads. I mean, I don't know about you, but if I'm going to look for something on Craig's List, I generally start in the "free" section and work my way around. You just never know. I found a free pool table there once that a woman was giving away. It was her husband's, and after he moved out to be with his mistress, she decided to give it away for free. (That never fails to make me laugh!) So what if you've got to scroll a few pages only to come up empty? Craig's List is probably not the best place to hunt down that strap-on dildo you're looking for anyway. And you're going to spend a lot of time going through the ads and flagging them. If you have that kind of time, get a hobby. Go fishing. Read a book. Do SOMETHING that doesn't involve being an asshole simply for the sake of being an asshole. Write a blog!

Oh, wait... we've already got one of those...

Bottom line: if you want to involve yourself in a cause, make it something worthwhile to everyone. Join Amnesty International, or Greenpeace, or Feed The Children. I believe you're one of the "culturally illiterate" we can actually save. You've already shown you have passion, you just need to re-direct that passion. And please... quit being a fucking jerk, alright?