A poem for the 4th (or: Dr Seuss I ain't)

Recently, I spoke to an old friend of mine. She was asking what I've been up to, and I mentioned Sanctimonious Sanitorium, because I've come to be quite enamored by the whole blog thing. After she'd read it she asked if I ever wrote poetry anymore (I got the idea the blog wasn't her favorite thing). That got me thinking how much fun it'd be to write a poem about the blog. So I pulled up the appropriate Word program and began writing. I was actually surprised at how easily it flowed. Is it good? I don't know, I think it's written by a guy that hasn't written poetry in a long time. That being said, I'd say the general idea is conveyed.


Ode to the Culturally Illiterate (What the fuck else would I call it?!)


So far, in this blog, what have we learned?
If your an illiterate, it's a title you've earned.
It seems that their number grows every day,
Is there an end in sight? No way, Jose.

They teach their kids manners that leave us all shocked,
Yet proclaim loudly "He's a chip off the ol' block!"
The next generation will not be the last.
They're sure to take over if we fail to act fast.

With the WMS and the NIMBY's growth strong,
We must strive to educate and right all their wrongs.
And if that means yelling at the top of your voice
"Get with the program, asshole!" you have little choice.

Call out the racist who whispers in crowds,
Because he's too big a coward to say it out loud.
Let your presence be known, and your view exposed.
We can no longer afford to keep our mouths closed.

Use strong words, unafraid to be blunt.
Words like prick, asshole, fucker and cunt.
Bitch, dickhead, and yes, motherfucker.
And please don't forget the old stand-by: cocksucker.

It's high time we show these folks we mean business
And we're not going to stand here as merely a witness.
The actions we take will be swift and dealt hard
So that maybe you'll get the message, retard.

I've offended a few with the words that I've used.
And I'm sorry for that (no, I'm actually amused).
Many have no idea what the words really say.
Fail to read between the lines and you're lost anyway.

In closing I'll say have a nice holiday,
Be safe celebrating our Independence day.
And to the cultural illiterate who blows off his hands?
One less asshole.